Well the flight out of Logan was interesting, to say the least. Twenty-five minutes before boarding I was paged and notified that my bag, which I thought I had been checked two hours earlier, was still sitting - "unattended" - at baggage claim and that if I didn't go show them my passport the Staties were going to blow it up. So that was cool. On the plus side, Katie Forcheski, one of my oldest friends going way back to pre-school, just happened to be on the same flight! She's visiting her sister who is studying abroad in London, and we were able to sit next to each other. Which meant that she was able to witness the chilling events that followed...
If there's anything I've learned over the last 24 hours, it's this: don't be nice to middle-aged women. Don't hold the door for them, don't watch their bags, and ESPECIALLY don't offer to help them fit their carry-ons into overhead compartments. You'd think that after 24 years I would have learned this lesson, but nooooooooooooo. Four years of southern hospitality has instilled in me a gut reflex to do the "right thing." Which is why I found myself offering to stow the bag of a middle-aged Virginian lady who was quite enamored with my WM sweatshirt and "manly muscles." (apparently she has rather poor eye sight, as well)
You'd like to think that Americans would take extra care in dressing for travel, especially when going overseas. (I, of course, am in my finest crappy polo and least worn out jeans.) This woman, unfortunately, did not get the memo. Imagine, if you will a baby blue sweatsuit, sweatshirt tucked in to sweatpants to create a rather bulging, well, let's just call it "stomach"; deep purple clogs; fiery red hair; and to top it all off, a feather boa. Now I'm an understanding man. Circus performers have to travel, too, and considering she had just graduated from Liberty University, I was going to give her a pass. (If you don't know what Liberty is, take a gander. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Liberty_University It is TRULY where fun goes to die.) All of this would have been alright if it hadn't been for her reaction to me placing her unnecessarily large carry-on in the overhead compartment. As I tried to maneuver this ridiculous bit of baggage in, she felt compelled to insert sound affects with every push. And they weren't just any ole sound effects. Every time I went in for another try, she let out a rather primeval and rather inappropriate moan. It got to the point where the old ladies in the surrounding seats put down their reading glasses and came up for a closer inspection. When I finally fit it in, she let out a sigh of "relief," leaving me to slink back to my seat while she was still trying to talk to me. Imma have nightmares about this lady, there's no doubt about it. I feel so uuuuuuuused.
All in all, the flight was a lil bumpy, but it was it was awesome catching up with Katie. Not so thrilled about my initial 110 bucks being converted into a little over 58 pounds, but what can you do. Hopefully the next update will be much less Pat and much more Meg!
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